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drool-proof paper

drool-proof paper: n. Documentation that has been obsessively dumbed
   down, to the point where only a cretin could bear to read it, is
   said to have succumbed to the `drool-proof paper syndrome' or to
   have been `written on drool-proof paper'.  For example, this is
   an actual quote from Apple's LaserWriter manual: "Do not expose
   your LaserWriter to open fire or flame."