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provocative maintenance

provocative maintenance: [common ironic mutation of `preventive
   maintenance'] n. Actions performed upon a machine at regularly
   scheduled intervals to ensure that the system remains in a usable
   state.  So called because it is all too often performed by a
   field servoid who doesn't know what he is doing; such
   `maintenance' often *induces* problems, or otherwise
   results in the machine's remaining in an *un*usable state for
   an indeterminate amount of time.  See also scratch monkey.